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When I asked on Twitter recently what I should write about next, the message was loud and clear.
“Tell me how to get unstuck”!
Never one to disappoint, I’m going to do just that!
Perhaps you are feeling flat and unmotivated following the recent strangeness of our lives?
Maybe you know where you want to get to, but it all seems too big and overwhelming?
Maybe you feel trapped by your current situation and feel like you’ve run out of options?
Or you don’t want to launch your blog post, book, business, side hustle until everything is absolutely ‘perfect’?
Whatever the reason for your wanting to ‘get unstuck’, I’m here to help.
I can work 1:1 with you to help you get unstuck quickly. Book your free 30 minute call right now to find out more.
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What Do We Mean By ‘Get Unstuck’?
According to dictionary.com, the definition of ‘unstuck’ means to be ‘freed or loosened from being fastened or stuck’.
If you feel ‘stuck’ in life, it can indeed feel like you are fastened down. To old beliefs and habits, or fastened to a place or person.
The good news is that ‘feeling stuck’ is simply that – a feeling. A feeling which, although you may not realise it, is exacerbated by your thoughts and beliefs (some of which may well be limiting).
You also may not realise it, but your thoughts and beliefs are something you have 100% control over. You can change them.
I’m not saying it’s by any means easy, it’s not, but it is entirely possible.
[tweetshare tweet=”Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong. – Mandy Hale” username=”alisonw30″]
In What Ways Might You Feel Stuck?
Here are some signs that might point toward the fact you are feeling stuck:
- Getting angry at yourself for not progressing
- Envy and resentment towards others
- Feeling like there is no way out and you have no options
- You are struggling to make decisions
- Procrastination
- Resentment about things that have already happened
- Wanting everything to be perfect before you take action
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Do any of these resonate with you?
What Are The Reasons For Feeling Stuck?
There are many reasons why you might be feeling stuck.
First of all old habits do indeed die hard and you could be replaying a well-worn groove from the past.
This can often be due to faulty thinking or emotions which haven’t been dealt with.
Another reason could be that you like your comfort zone, and there is nothing wrong with liking a bit of comfort and stability in your life.
If you stay there all the time though you are more likely to experience disappointment and a lack of fulfilment.
Perhaps you have a fear of failure. Or a fear of success.
Who you spend your time with can also be a huge influence. If the people in your life are giving off negative, toxic vibes this is undoubtedly going to rub off onto you.
You might also find you are comparing yourself with others and experiencing feelings of envy.
Perhaps you are asking yourself ‘why always them and not me’ or maybe you are setting yourself other boundaries like saying you don’t have time to do XYZ.
Last but by no means least, it could be that your ‘why’ for wanting the goal or change is simply not strong enough for you to take action.
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Is Being Stuck Necessarily A Bad Thing?
There is nothing wrong with feeling tired and unmotivated for a while. If you’re feeling like this, be kind to yourself. Spend some time resting and regrouping.
After a little while though, whilst you might be comfortable, ask yourself whether you are as happy and fulfilled as you could be.
If you’re feeling this way, I’d suggest setting yourself a timescale to take that first step to get going again. Write that date in your schedule right now!
[tweetshare tweet=”The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself. – Tony Robbins” username=”alisonw30″]
Practical Tools To Get Unstuck
Here’s the bit I know you’ve been waiting for! Some of my favourite, practical tools to help you get unstuck.
Add these techniques to your toolbox, try a few out and find what works for you best.
Before we begin, if you feel there are no options, I have news for you, there are ALWAYS options.
Awareness is key. The first thing to do is to identify where you are stuck.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to help (you may find it useful to journal your answers).
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
Powerful Questions To Ask Yourself To Get Unstuck
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- How do I feel about my current situation?
- How important to me is this REALLY?
- What do I gain from staying stuck? (There has to be a payoff or you wouldn’t stay stuck, right?)
- What thoughts am I having? How helpful are they?
- When in the past do I recall having similar thoughts or feelings?
- What am I fearing will happen?
- Where did this belief come from?
- How likely is this to happen?
- How might I think or behave differently?
- If my fears did play out, what could I do to empower myself?
- What would I do if I weren’t afraid?
- How do I stand in my own way?
- How can I get out of my own way?
- What could make a difference?
- What would make a difference?
- What’s worked in the past?
- How might I apply that now?
- Who can I turn to for help and support?
- What research could I do to help me find the first step?
- What would make this more fun?
- How will I celebrate/reward myself when I reach my goal?
Finally, take a deep breath and imagine yourself in 5 years time. All of this is in the past.
Looking back now, what did you do/decide that got you moving? What was the turning point?
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Find Your ‘Why’
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Remember when I said perhaps your ‘why’ for wanting change isn’t strong enough?
Here are some more questions to ask yourself to find your ‘why’ for your goal.
Once you have it, write it down and stick it somewhere prominent!
- What will achieving this goal give me?
- If I don’t do anything what will life be like?
- Does this bring me joy? If not entirely, then what elements of it do or how could I make it more enjoyable?
- How does this goal fit with my values?
- What strengths do I have that I could use here?
- Who will achieving this goal affect?
- What will be the positive impacts of achieving this goal?
- How does this goal fit with other priorities in my life?
Find A Coach Or Mentor
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Working through the questions above by yourself can definitely help, but talking things through with someone impartial can really help you crystalise things in your mind.
The power of working with a coach or a mentor should not be underestimated!
Book your free call with me right now!.
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Get Accountable
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Research shows that being accountable will make you work harder at something. If you know you are being watched, you are more likely to put more effort in. (The most famous example of the research is the Hawthorne effect).
Find yourself an accountability partner, join a Facebook group, pay a joining fee (doesn’t always work, look at all the unused gym memberships. I find if I’ve paid a small fee for something fairly time-limited though, it spurs me on!)
In these days of social media, there is no shortage of online groups that you can join for support. You might need to experiment a bit until you find the right one for you. Once you’ve found them, declare your goal and lean on them for support as much as possible!
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Self-Reflection
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There are many ways of doing this, but spending some time away from the ‘problem’, simply letting it be and reflecting can be powerful.
Meditation and mindfulness practices can give you the space to start noticing your thoughts and feelings.
Check out my Beginners’ Guide To Mindfulness Meditation to get started
Journaling is also a powerful way to get your swirling thoughts out of your head and into some kind of coherent order.
As well as self-reflection in your journal, try keeping a track of the following on a daily basis and watch your motivation levels soar!
- Things you are grateful for
- Good things that happen (however small)
- Your strengths and achievements
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Something as simple as going for a quick walk around the block can also give you time to reflect and sort things out in your mind.
I often find if I’ve been grappling with something, if I go for a short walk then the solution will pop into my head as if by magic!
Distraction
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This might sound counter-intuitive when you feel you really need to focus, but spending some time distracting yourself away from the challenge in hand can help with the self-reflection I’ve already mentioned.
Walking is good for this, but if that isn’t your thing, then distracting yourself with something else can be beneficial.
Declutter, rearrange a room, do some crafting or some baking, get out in the garden. Whatever you enjoy which takes you out of your own head for a while.
Take Baby Steps
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Take a small, baby step.
Big changes can feel overwhelming. Break your goal down into smaller, bite-sized chunks.
Taking one small step is so much better than staying stuck and not moving at all!
[tweetshare tweet=”As long as you’re moving, it’s easier to steer. – Anonymous” username=”alisonw30″]
Tweak Your Lifestyle
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Making some small tweaks to make your lifestyle more healthy can work wonders on your motivation levels.
For example, drinking enough water might sound a strange thing to recommend to help you get unstuck, but it’s so important to help avoid the ‘brain fog’ that leads to confusion, procrastination and overwhelm!
Personally, tweaking my lifestyle and making it more healthy was a big thing for me in getting unstuck with my goals.
One of the most powerful tweaks I made was taking a break from alcohol. It gave me so much clarity in my thinking that I decided to make it a permanent change!
I’m not suggesting that everyone does this, but if you are feeling stuck then doing as much as you possibly can to feel healthy can only be a good thing.
Read more about my break from booze.
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Try Positive Affirmations
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If you’re familiar with the law of attraction, then you know that your thoughts create your reality.
The theory is if your thoughts are negative, then you will attract more negativity. If they are positive then the opposite will be true.
If you haven’t tried using positive affirmations before, here are 50 to get you started!
Draw It Out
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Some people are more visual in their approach to things. (Me, I’m more of a list than a drawing kind of person so bear with me here!)
You could try mind mapping or pulling together a vision board.
Look for patterns.
Are you falling into old habits and ways of reacting?
Ask yourself what could you do differently this time.
Track Your Progress
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Progress has been shown to be an excellent motivator. Be sure to track your ‘small wins’ along the way.
I do this in my journal and am often surprised when I look back to see how all of those small achievements add up!
To Sum Up
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The main thing to remember if you feel stuck is that getting unstuck is in your gift. Being stuck is a temporary phase. You can get moving again, I promise.
If you feel stuck, the first thing I would suggest doing is taking a piece of paper, or your journal and working through the questions I’ve posed above.
Then pick a couple of the other tips to try.
To summarise, the practical tips are:-
- Ask yourself some powerful questions
- Find your ‘why’
- Find a coach or mentor
- Get accountable
- Self-reflect
- Distract yourself
- Take baby steps
- Tweak your lifestyle
- Positive affirmations
- Draw it out
- Track your progress
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If you try any of the tips I’ve recommended and get unstuck I’d love to hear from you! Leave me a comment, or drop me an email at alison@littleblogofpositivity.com
Lori
I was feeling all the “stuck” feelings for quite awhile. A change of scenery helped me get unstuck, motivated, and back on path. I found my “why”, took some time for self-reflection, and then baby steps in the right direction. I no longer feel stuck, but I will be bookmarking this post so I am ready to use more of your techniques should that feeling wiggle it’s way back into my brain! Thanks for yet another great post!
Alison
Thanks Lori, so glad you got unstuck! A change of scenery can definitely help 🙂
Lozza
This is so helpful!
I often feel stuck and get into a rut so I’ll refer back to these tips to help me.
Thanks so much! ☺️
Love Lozza x
http://girlygabble.com
Alison
Thanks Lozza, so glad you found the tips helpful 🙂
Chloe Chats
Love this post, I definitely needed to hear some of those tips. I feel like with me I struggle to get out of my comfort zone so I get to a point where I’m just stuck because I don’t want risk stepping outside of the things I find comfortable. Something I am always trying to work on though. I definitely go through baby steps to get to where I want to be, I think I feel less pressure when I take it a little at a time! Thanks for sharing these tips Alison!
Chloe xx
Alison
Thanks Chloe, those baby steps definitely add up!
Brie
Alison, what an awesome post!!! I think a lot of people feel stuck in their lives, whether it be from fear of moving on into an unknown future, because of comfort in their current situation, or any other reason. It’s a super relatable post and I love your advice for getting unstuck! Thank you! 🙂
Alison
Thanks so much Brie, I really hope my post can help lots of people 🙂
Dharma Rocks
This was so so helpful!! I have been feeling stuck recently as I struggle to reach my goal of buying my first house this year – but I think I can get there. I just needed the right guidance – and this was it!!! Thank you 🙂 Dharma x
Alison
Excellent! Share those photos of that new house in a few months time 😃
Pamela
You have some awesome tips here! I love that you recommend allowing yourself to feel what you feel for a little while, even if that means allowing yourself to feel stuck. But then, setting a date by which you must move forward, I think, is also crucial. We are emotional creatures and it’s important to allow ourselves to process those emotions without allowing them to control us. Thank you for this!
Alison
Thanks Pamela, I heard someone say recently that this is like ‘wallowing like a hippo’ which I think describes it nicely!